FROZEN

Elijah approached all the people and said, “How long are you going to be paralyzed by indecision? 1 Kings 18:21a (NET)

Frozen! Have you ever been there? I am not talking about the Disney version with happy songs and smiles, or when you are so cold your nose and toes feel like they may fall off.

I have experienced the kind of frozen lately where I feel completely stuck, paralyzed, and as trapped as the boat in the photo above.

As I write this today, I realize it is a condition of my own making. I have been making excuses about being too busy, too tired, too involved, too - you name it. Everything except too ready to do something about it.

Those that know me, know we have a lot going on right now with trying to get our new little BBQ restaurant up and running. It has been a true labor of love for both of us. There have been meetings with contractors, codes enforcement, suppliers, more contractors, etc. I have used the excuse of all the decision making, painting, research, testing and meetings to keep me from writing. In fact, none of them are the reason.

I attended a writers conference last year. It was aimed primarily for Christian writers. I had attended before and felt like I had a good idea what to expect and was looking forward to learning more about the trade/business.  I also had built up enough courage to present an idea I have for my first book. I was so nervous, but believed with my whole heart it was an idea given to me by the holy spirit. 

I made the appointment to pitch my idea to a publisher. I was confident and excited. As we sat face to face at the conference table, I explained my idea, how I thought it could be laid out, what market I thought it would be best suited for, and why I was writing it.

As he looked me in they eye, I was so encouraged, he was really listening and getting my vision I thought. When I finished, he leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily. Here it comes I thought, he is going to ask to see a sample of my writing, I am going to get an offer to publish!

Instead, he said "I don't believe God would condone the topic, and therefore would not bless it, I can not be a part of publishing this book".  I can only imagine the look on my face as I tried my best to hold it together. He was not interested at all in my writing, or discussing it really. We made small talk for a few minutes, then I thanked him for his time and made my way back to my room as fast as the elevator and shuttle bus would take me.

As I opened my hotel room door and stepped inside to allow myself to cry over the humiliation, rejection and frustration, I heard the door close behind me. The door to my hopes and dreams of writing. I could not believe how hurt I felt, disappointed, unheard, and mostly judged because his idea of what is Christian and mine were different.

I came home and talked with my pastor about it. I left that meeting reassured that I was doing what was right for me, but I had lost something that has taken me this long to get back. The need, desire and longing to write never left me, but the courage to put myself out there again, to write even here on my blog, had vanished.

So, today is a new day. No more feeling trapped by someone else's opinion of me or my work, my thoughts and ideas. I am moving forward with plans that I believe God has for me.  No more hindering or blocking myself from the blessing and future he has for me and others.

Do you ever feel frozen by the words or actions of others?

What helped you?

Please leave a comment below, I would love to hear your story and encourage others who may be going through the same thing today.

Little Stone Building

In my last post, I shared with you my thoughts and emotions at leaving the job I had held for nearly three decades. Let me go back and begin to explain how we got to this place.

I loved my job and the people I worked with, but for years had felt a tugging on my heart to do something else. I thought it might be massage therapy, so I went to school and was graduated with a certificate to become a massage therapist. I struggled for a couple of years, trying to build a clientele, but to no avail. Working full time and trying to build on a part time basis was not cutting it for me, so I shelved that love and kept on working.

That was until I got a phone call from a friend of mine that was opening her own salon, and asked if I would like to be their massage therapist. Are you kidding me? This seemed like the perfect opportunity to leave my current job and move into a totally new career doing something else that I loved, massage.  I was so excited, and planned, dreamed and began to think about how great it was going to be. But, in the deepest part of my heart, something did not feel right. Not that making this change was wrong or bad, but just that still small voice telling me, "no, not yet". I didn't know if it was not THIS or just WAIT.  I left for a ten day mission trip and prayed about it the entire time. When I got home, I was more sure than ever that it was a no for me at this time, so I called my friend and let her know. That was July 25, 2016.

August 9, 2016, two weeks and one day later, I opened an email that I get every morning. It listed all the new properties for sale that day. I was always curious, so I took a few minutes each day to look. As I scrolled through the listings, a piece of commercial property was before my eyes, and I loved it. I turned my computer monitor toward Randy and said, "here it is, our new restaurant". Randy and I had always joked about opening a sub shop, one of his passions. If we combined the subs and massage, we could call it Subs and Rubs. I was really kind of joking when I showed him, and much to my surprise the words "lets go look at it" shot from his mouth (I think before he had time to think about them).

I called and made an appointment to meet the relator that evening after work. This little building in Marietta, SC,  is a 30-45 drive from where we were living and working in Greenville. On the way there, we drove through a terrible storm, one of the worst I can ever recall, the kind where your windshield wipers are beating fast and hard against the windshield, and you can't blink as you try so hard to see two feet in front of you. Randy said "lets call and reschedule" but we were over half way there, and I knew she had to be on the way as well. So we kept on driving.

As we approached Marietta, the rain let up and by the time we parked the car, the sun was out, and this beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky just above the building next to the one we were looking at. I told Randy, "there's our sign!", I even took a photo of it.

God continued, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and everything living around you and everyone living after you. I’m putting my rainbow in the clouds, a sign of the covenant between me and the Earth. From now on, when I form a cloud over the Earth and the rainbow appears in the cloud, I’ll remember my covenant between me and you and everything living, that never again will floodwaters destroy all life. When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I’ll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth.” Genesis 9:13-16 MSG

 I really think it was at that moment that we knew, this little building would be ours, even if we didn't know for sure what we would do with it.

So, here it is, our "Little Stone Building". We are believing that God led us here, and has a great plan for this amazing little building, and our ordinary lives. I believe that the flood waters that have washed over our lives in the past are over, and that regardless of what comes our way, God is with us and leading us. 

This is just the beginning of a crazy, great ride. Follow along as I share the ways in which God has and is blessing us as He leads us on this journey.

Front door of Little Stone Building

Back of building

You asked for it, you got it

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Isaiah 55:2a

A funny thing happened while on a mission trip a couple of years ago. The wheels were set into motion for the change of my life.

I was on a trip with my church at Epic Missions in Indian River, Florida. I was working in the kitchen with Jackie Munsey, one of the founders of Epic Missions, discussing a dream of mine to also do something similar to what she was doing. I felt unfulfilled in the job I had and wanted to make a difference in the world. I love to cook,  for one or large crowds, it doesn't matter to me. I enjoy feeding people,  love to see them enjoy a meal, and be satisfied. After I had shared this with Jackie, she told me not to give up on that dream, that God had placed it there in my heart for a reason.

Fast forward one month from that conversation. I was approached by a talented hair dresser that I know, to work in her salon as a massage therapist. I have been a licensed massage therapist for nearly ten years, but have not been practicing for nearly a year. I was so excited at the possibility and wanted so desperately to make it work. I planned, thought, and tried my best to make it a reality, but there was a nudging in my heart that this was not the right thing (or at least the right time) for this endeavor.  I told her I wanted to think about and pray during my upcoming mission trip to Nicaragua, just the following week.

As I was away from all the hustle and bustle at home, and was truly seeking God’s plan in this situation, I knew that it was not what God wanted for me and when I got home, I called to let my friend know what I had decided. I got up, went back to my regular job (that I had been at for nearly 27 years) the next morning, and back to life as usual.

About two weeks later, I was looking at a real estate website, and decided to glance at commercial real estate. There is was, the least expensive listing, in a very small town about 20 miles from our house, and it was calling my name. I had been in this town many times during a previously difficult time in my life and had not been back in nearly 20 years. But I was drawn by this cute little building, with so much character, I just had to see it.  I said to my husband “Randy, I just found our little take out restaurant building”. He turned around with that same smile he always gives me, and said, “lets see”. I showed him the photos and the listing and told him the price. “Let’s go look at it” so I called the realtor and made an appointment for later that evening after work.

It was POURING rain when we left work, the hardest I believe I have ever driven through. Randy wanted to postpone, but she would have already been on her way too, so we kept driving. The rain quit just as we approached the stone building that looked even smaller in real life.  When we got out of the car to walk to the front door, there was a gorgeous rainbow just to our left. “There it is, our sign!”

Actual photo taken when we went to look at the building the first time. 

Long story short, (and I do mean long story) we purchased the building and are working on converting it to a take out only BBQ restaurant, called Stone House BBQ.

I will take the next few posts to fill you in on the other challenges we have faced, the doors that God has miraculously opened and the vision we have for our little business.

Thank you for following our adventure and when we finally open, we look forward to meeting you in person!