POLKA DOTS AND WISDOM

"You did what?" I can still hear my mother's voice and see the look of surprise on her face as I explained the reason for the phone call she just received.

With all the wisdom I possessed in my eight year old brain, I decided it would be a good idea to tell all my neighborhood friends that I was having a fashion show at our apartment. I can only imagine the thoughts that went through my mother's spinning head as she answered phone call after phone call from other mothers, seeking details of this "fashion show" that all their little girls wanted to be a part of.

Even now I have to wonder where did that come from?  In our house, fashion was least of the concerns I can imagine my parents were preoccupied with. When my mom got off the phone, I got the third degree about what I had said, who did I tell, what was I thinking. I don't remember any of those details now, but I do remember what happened.

I am not sure what possessed my mother to go along with my plan. Bless her heart, instead of telling each of the mothers "my daughter has lost her ever loving mind",  she began sewing a dress, not just any dress, but matching dresses for my cousin Jana and me.

This all took place in the early 1970's. I do not remember a lot about what the dresses looked like except, they were multi colored polka dot and had matching scarves that we tied in our hair. We were so excited to have our matching dresses, and just knew that we would be winning the fashion show.

Our small three bedroom apartment was a hub of activity that night. I vaguely remember finger foods being out, and a room full of parents watching us. We all received standing ovations as we made our way down the stairs and twirled around the living room, like models walking the catwalk. To the best of my recollection, no one won, the 'panel of judges' declared a tie among all the contestants. It is pretty evident there was someone else in the house with much more wisdom than I.

Wisdom, as defined by Merriam-Webster: accumulated philosophical or scientific learning; good sense. See, at my tender age of eight, I possessed absolutely zero wisdom. My mother, on the other hand, had more years of life experience, and insight of the big picture regarding my friends and I competing against each other for who was the prettiest.

The bible says many things about wisdom, but one of my favorite verses is:

 But the wisdom that comes from God is like this: First, it is pure. It is also peaceful, gentle, and easy to please. This wisdom is always ready to help people who have trouble and to do good for others. This wisdom is always fair and honest. James 3:17 ERV

My mother's wisdom was in this instance peaceful and gentle, she never yelled at me, or got mad at having to take the extra time to make (not one but two) dresses, clean the house for all the guests and host my impromptu fashion show. By allowing us to carry on with my crazy plan, she did what was good for others, by not disappointing all my little friends. Most of all, she was fair and honest. I am sure one of the other little girls may have been prettier that the rest of us, someone else more graceful, and someone else may have had a prettier dress (I doubt it). But we were all made to feel beautiful, elegant and equally admired for that moment in time.

Thank you mom for all the lessons you have taught me in life, and sharing your wisdom. More importantly, thank you for sharing with me how to grow in wisdom.

FROZEN

Elijah approached all the people and said, “How long are you going to be paralyzed by indecision? 1 Kings 18:21a (NET)

Frozen! Have you ever been there? I am not talking about the Disney version with happy songs and smiles, or when you are so cold your nose and toes feel like they may fall off.

I have experienced the kind of frozen lately where I feel completely stuck, paralyzed, and as trapped as the boat in the photo above.

As I write this today, I realize it is a condition of my own making. I have been making excuses about being too busy, too tired, too involved, too - you name it. Everything except too ready to do something about it.

Those that know me, know we have a lot going on right now with trying to get our new little BBQ restaurant up and running. It has been a true labor of love for both of us. There have been meetings with contractors, codes enforcement, suppliers, more contractors, etc. I have used the excuse of all the decision making, painting, research, testing and meetings to keep me from writing. In fact, none of them are the reason.

I attended a writers conference last year. It was aimed primarily for Christian writers. I had attended before and felt like I had a good idea what to expect and was looking forward to learning more about the trade/business.  I also had built up enough courage to present an idea I have for my first book. I was so nervous, but believed with my whole heart it was an idea given to me by the holy spirit. 

I made the appointment to pitch my idea to a publisher. I was confident and excited. As we sat face to face at the conference table, I explained my idea, how I thought it could be laid out, what market I thought it would be best suited for, and why I was writing it.

As he looked me in they eye, I was so encouraged, he was really listening and getting my vision I thought. When I finished, he leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily. Here it comes I thought, he is going to ask to see a sample of my writing, I am going to get an offer to publish!

Instead, he said "I don't believe God would condone the topic, and therefore would not bless it, I can not be a part of publishing this book".  I can only imagine the look on my face as I tried my best to hold it together. He was not interested at all in my writing, or discussing it really. We made small talk for a few minutes, then I thanked him for his time and made my way back to my room as fast as the elevator and shuttle bus would take me.

As I opened my hotel room door and stepped inside to allow myself to cry over the humiliation, rejection and frustration, I heard the door close behind me. The door to my hopes and dreams of writing. I could not believe how hurt I felt, disappointed, unheard, and mostly judged because his idea of what is Christian and mine were different.

I came home and talked with my pastor about it. I left that meeting reassured that I was doing what was right for me, but I had lost something that has taken me this long to get back. The need, desire and longing to write never left me, but the courage to put myself out there again, to write even here on my blog, had vanished.

So, today is a new day. No more feeling trapped by someone else's opinion of me or my work, my thoughts and ideas. I am moving forward with plans that I believe God has for me.  No more hindering or blocking myself from the blessing and future he has for me and others.

Do you ever feel frozen by the words or actions of others?

What helped you?

Please leave a comment below, I would love to hear your story and encourage others who may be going through the same thing today.

Little Stone Building

In my last post, I shared with you my thoughts and emotions at leaving the job I had held for nearly three decades. Let me go back and begin to explain how we got to this place.

I loved my job and the people I worked with, but for years had felt a tugging on my heart to do something else. I thought it might be massage therapy, so I went to school and was graduated with a certificate to become a massage therapist. I struggled for a couple of years, trying to build a clientele, but to no avail. Working full time and trying to build on a part time basis was not cutting it for me, so I shelved that love and kept on working.

That was until I got a phone call from a friend of mine that was opening her own salon, and asked if I would like to be their massage therapist. Are you kidding me? This seemed like the perfect opportunity to leave my current job and move into a totally new career doing something else that I loved, massage.  I was so excited, and planned, dreamed and began to think about how great it was going to be. But, in the deepest part of my heart, something did not feel right. Not that making this change was wrong or bad, but just that still small voice telling me, "no, not yet". I didn't know if it was not THIS or just WAIT.  I left for a ten day mission trip and prayed about it the entire time. When I got home, I was more sure than ever that it was a no for me at this time, so I called my friend and let her know. That was July 25, 2016.

August 9, 2016, two weeks and one day later, I opened an email that I get every morning. It listed all the new properties for sale that day. I was always curious, so I took a few minutes each day to look. As I scrolled through the listings, a piece of commercial property was before my eyes, and I loved it. I turned my computer monitor toward Randy and said, "here it is, our new restaurant". Randy and I had always joked about opening a sub shop, one of his passions. If we combined the subs and massage, we could call it Subs and Rubs. I was really kind of joking when I showed him, and much to my surprise the words "lets go look at it" shot from his mouth (I think before he had time to think about them).

I called and made an appointment to meet the relator that evening after work. This little building in Marietta, SC,  is a 30-45 drive from where we were living and working in Greenville. On the way there, we drove through a terrible storm, one of the worst I can ever recall, the kind where your windshield wipers are beating fast and hard against the windshield, and you can't blink as you try so hard to see two feet in front of you. Randy said "lets call and reschedule" but we were over half way there, and I knew she had to be on the way as well. So we kept on driving.

As we approached Marietta, the rain let up and by the time we parked the car, the sun was out, and this beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky just above the building next to the one we were looking at. I told Randy, "there's our sign!", I even took a photo of it.

God continued, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and everything living around you and everyone living after you. I’m putting my rainbow in the clouds, a sign of the covenant between me and the Earth. From now on, when I form a cloud over the Earth and the rainbow appears in the cloud, I’ll remember my covenant between me and you and everything living, that never again will floodwaters destroy all life. When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I’ll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth.” Genesis 9:13-16 MSG

 I really think it was at that moment that we knew, this little building would be ours, even if we didn't know for sure what we would do with it.

So, here it is, our "Little Stone Building". We are believing that God led us here, and has a great plan for this amazing little building, and our ordinary lives. I believe that the flood waters that have washed over our lives in the past are over, and that regardless of what comes our way, God is with us and leading us. 

This is just the beginning of a crazy, great ride. Follow along as I share the ways in which God has and is blessing us as He leads us on this journey.

Front door of Little Stone Building

Back of building