IS THAT REALLY GOD'S STILL, SMALL VOICE

 

Then he was told, “Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by.”

A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.    1 Kings 19:11-12 MSG

I have been praying for an answer. Why did I think God would unfurl a banner from heaven with the words "Do This" or "Don't Do That"? Maybe He would speak to me through a song on the radio, or a word from my pastor. I waited for one of these senerios to play out, but nothing, only quiet and stillness.

I am sure part of the problem is my own busyness. Honestly, I haven't taken time to listen to my husband, let alone the still small voice of God. I know I am not alone, most of us fill our lives with different things that command all of our conscience time. As soon as the alarm goes off in the morning, my mind is racing as I head to the bathroom to take my shower. "What day is this? Monday? Ok,"  I have my mammogram appointment at 8:00, then work till 4:30, go home feed the dogs, head out to finish painting the other house, grab something to eat, then before you know it, I am on my way home, and it is 10:30. Set the alarm, crash, repeat.

I remember last summer, I was presented with an "offer I couldn't refuse". I thought it was the answer to all my unhappiness with my job, uncertainty about the future and chance for change - all the things I had been praying about for years.  I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity, it was exactly what I wanted to do, perfect. Except, there was a nagging in my heart that seemed to to say no, this is not for you. I tried every which way to make it work out. I had discussions with myself trying to drown out the words in my head that seemed to say "not yet, not this".

So, before I left on our mission trip to Nicaragua, I made one of the hardest calls I had to make, declining the offer. Surprisingly, when I hung up, there was peace, not regret. Little did I know, that just three weeks later, God would open the door to the most amazing, life changing, venture. If I had not listened to His prompting to say no, I would have missed out on something much better.

Then, on Friday, while I was once again praying, it hit me. I am in the same position now. I have a tremendous opportunity to do something I love, to serve on a mission trip to Nicaragua. To teach a cake decorating class to the women at House of Hope, and love on the children at One By One. Who could deny the value of a trip like this, or all the good it affords. Yet, I have a nagging, heaviness in my heart that it just isn't the right time for me. It doesn't make sense to me. It does not have to make sense to me though, does it? I just need to listen to the still, small voice in my heart that says "Not this time.". 

I know that God has a reason for everything, even though in my finite mind I cannot figure it out. I have to trust that where He leads, He provides, and He sustains.

I have to trust that where He leads, He provides, and He sustains.
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So, I make the phone call I have been dreading, and just like last time - peace. I don't know what it is that God has in store for me, or what His plans are, but I am excited to find out!


When have you said no to what seemed like it should be yes?